Special Movie Review (Harry Potter 1)!

 Dear Bloggers,

Almost Died today. Today our chawl "Society" almost caught fire because of short circuit from one house. I don't know the full story as I was sleeping. Its the story of morning 7:00 am. Our neighbours were saying, what if it'd have been the night. We all must have wouldn't noticed it at all. I saw that fire well, almost. I didn't have my specs on. I'd have been happier if I'd have been dead. Atleast would have been able to get to know more about this bad world. Yeah, with me dies my hopes, memories and dreams but who cares anyway? Anyway I know that I'll never get to be, do or see my dream being true. I'll always be torchured, tormented and hated by everyone.

Yesterday, my mother said that there's one vessel on the basin who will wash it? I didn't reply so didn't my father. But when mother asked him, he said say it to her. She is a girl, she's no going to work, college, and never does anything make her do it. Imagine having a f------ father like that. Mother said 'You don't know what she does or doesn't ' but still made me do the work. I do everything. But still, faults are clearly more visible to them than deeds. 

I really am so miserable, unlucky, saddest person in the whole wide world. I hate having a father like this. I always cry when I see Billy Ray Cyrus on TV with Miley on Hannah Montana. So, lucky she is to have  a father like that.. Even my family members too. Its just me who has a father who's never done anything fatherly ever to me!

I hate being born as a girl already. My freedom was taken away at 10. If I'd have known that I would have lived life like every day is a last day. Why is that only women have to go through all the changes while men just is called as the "head of the house"? Why's he called that for? What does he do? Why has God made Men and Women so so different from each other? Why is that only women have to go through all of this s--- till almost the end of her life? Why only women? I hate being one of this kind for all of this. See tye world through my eyes. One time its all sunshine and happiness and the next time when you see you can only find a never ending rain and black clouds.

I really wish if there was someone very dear to me that I can talk all this with. Even though Hannah Montana is just a show it teaches about life and relationships. There might only be one person in the world out of billons that you'll find a friend like Miley and Lilly. Only one or maybe impossible. Imagine waiting for you friend on recess to eat together whereas she eats with someone else and comes back late. The person wo waiting for her friend never knew that her friend would betray her. She waited and so the same thing happened for 7 days when the friend who was waiting went to find out and her heart breaks and trust too. This isn't a made up story. It is a true story about me. I was the one waiting. I got left. It has always been that way. Not once or twice but 5 times in total. Well I don't think anyone can understand that except just me. Because when I say that to my mother she blames me for all of this, my father isn't the one who know how to talk to me but he can definitely talk with the kids from the neighbourhood, neither do I have any friends. I knew that last night no matter what I said I'll definitely change the next day. I'm too emotional and no one knows it because I'm not the kind of person who cries loudly. I cry when I'm alone, I cry when no one knows. 

My uncle once asked no he actually said that to my mother the time when my ajja passed away. "How can she not cry on this scene?" But you have no idea how much I cried when I was sleeping at night and I haven't ever stopped. Your tears don't prove that you like or hate the person. I don't need to prove anyone that. I always cry when I miss. The only thing I still repenting is that once he tripped over my legs and I laughed whereas I should've got up and said sorry, the time when we came back he hugged me and said me something. I felt very weird. He never did or talked like that. And that was the last time when I said him. I never got to see him ever again.

The b--- asks me what is good for writing this. Listen women. I got no one to talk to and this is what it is. Go to hell. I'm born to be alone and supposed to be alone when I die as well. Anyway. That's all that I had to say. I had a thing called "class". I cried during the entire session. Missing my very supportive, loving and encouraging teachers. I miss them, I miss it a lot. I still want to cry but the women here. It was day 2 of that. Whatever that was. Have to take 3 years with that s---  At least government teachers were better than this. I hate them. I hate everything. 

I saw some Miley Cyrus's interview on YouTube, cried as I said (was alone ---- went office). I seriously don't care about being a singer or any f------ thing now. Because whatever I do I'm pretty damn sure I'll always get to be anything but that. Engineering was never an option for me ever. I only wanted to be artist ever. Technical isn't ever been my side. But I'm forced and I have to because I don't have that "daring" to leave house or run away even though I have the permission from my so called "parents" Well they predicted long ago. I don't have that guts, I'm scared to hurt my people, my scared to break hearts of everyone and I'm scared to be a liar.

Just for the info. I've never been like this the circumstances and people made me do it. No one has the control of my life except me. This is my reaction to all of that f------ s--- all my f------- life. And yeah, my last post as public. As soon as I finish blogging I'm going to change my settings and make it private. I deleted my twitter and instagram. That isn't me and I don't know how to post stuff in it. I'm taking a very big and long break from Byte and YouTube because it doesn't help me in anyway and I as I said before I'm pretty damn sure that I'll end up being just a f--------- engineer. I don't want anyone's sympathy's on my videos